Review

Exploring the map of ‘good’ grief

AN INTIMATE LONELINESS: supporting bereaved parents and siblings
Gordon Riches and Pam Dawson
Open University Press, 2000

Although focusing mainly on the impact of the death of a child or sibling, this book also looks at the wider context of bereavement in a manner that is both critical and refreshing.

In a distinct move away from a clinical/psychological framework which might see grief as pathology, the authors focus on social and cultural interpretations. Most usefully, the ‘myths’ of bereavement therapy, such as the putative link between levels of distress and subsequent resolution, are laid to rest. They are replaced by ‘new’ models of grief with an emphasis on transition and transformation of the relationship with the deceased person, rather than the ‘letting go’ demanded by some earlier models.

The distinct perspectives of mothers, fathers and siblings are thoroughly explored in a way that conveys a sense of the enormity of the loss of a child.

The ‘stages model’ of grief, with its emphasis on recovery, is rejected in favour of a much more fluid approach, which describes the role of the bereavement supporter as companion and fellow explorer of the map of grief, rather than as an expert drawing on fixed understandings.

The implications of this approach are discussed and again, although the authors’ primary concern is with bereaved parents and siblings, there is much that is useful here for people concerned with any aspect of death and loss.

The book reflects a current change in thinking about grief and its resolution, and it makes an extremely valuable contribution to the ‘Facing Death’ series published by the Open University Press.